Thoughts Swimming in My Head

Some days it just doesn't seem worth it. I remember when I was around the age of twelve my father told me that I would live to see the end of the world. Being a child at the time, and for several years after, I never thought that those words would ring so true. Now it seems just a matter of time. I remember being a child in the late seventy's early eighty's, hanging out with my neighborhood buddies, riding our bikes all over town, going swimming, hanging out in the park, "fishing" for crawdads in the creek. Just having a good time, not a care in the world. I remember the late eighty's early ninety's with just as much fondness. My first job, first car, my first girlfriend, when I lost my.....well, you know. Graduating High School (a remarkable achievement I must say). My first shotgun, pistol and so on and so forth. Now at the age of 41 I have so much more responsibility than ever before I have a hard time enjoying anything. As sit here and type this my second child, all of eight years old, sleeps in the next room. Summer is here and there is no reason to wake him. Sometimes I watch him sleep and I think to myself, what will be his first? His first indoctrination, first encounter with the PTB or JBT's. His first slave wage job,(if he can find one) first FEMA camp.His first visit to his fathers grave....shot for resisting. It saddens and scares me when I think of what awaits my children. Fathers day is coming up in couple of weeks and this Fathers day you will find me celebrating it the same way I have for the past six years. Celebrating with my wife and child(ren?) at home and later at the cemetery mourning my Father.RIP CLK---MCK